Engagement Shoot & Updates

Our photographer, Christine Waller, did such an amazing job in this photo shoot. I’m so glad we had this moment to experience her style before our wedding. Christine is fantastic. Tom and I are literally obsessed at how amazing she is stylistically and professionally. I couldn’t have hired a better photographer, and I’ll always be grateful to Erin for suggesting her.  The photos she captured of us, our style, does a great snapshot into our lives. I do want to address a few issues that could be assumed, and just some fun facts about shooting an “after-the fact” engagement session.

• We did not “match” our outfits. We never talked about our outfits. The most we discussed is we’d bring a few outfits or layers.
• Our photographer picked a few locations. We briefly yelped the locations, and trusted our photographer. We had no idea what the decor looked like.

My outfit was picked out on behalf of my bridesmaid Neo’s best friend Kanisha. Kanisha is this AMAZING fashion guru, and I use to stalk her blog hardcore. The few times we’ve hung out, she’s always been dressed to the occasion. Actually, it’s Neo’s whole crew. They do a great job of just being so on fashion point. Anyway, I can’t thank her enough for telling me “WEAR THE RED SHOES—they elongate your legs!”

My only worry was that it would not seem believable. I obsess over stoopid things, and I read a few blogs that said the best engagement pictures are done in the moment, and not awkward photo shoots that seem super pose-y. My nerves were definitely there, and Tom’s forte is just getting me to act as if a camera isn’t there. Christine’s advice was simple: “act natural, and kiss sometimes” and I think she did an amazing job as she waited until we seemed to be in our natural habitat. I also didn’t want Tom to look like a “prop.” I think men should shine just as much as women, and I hope that was reflected in the pictures.

One other little note, most couples use their engagement photos as their “Save-the-Date” piece. Our timeline, it just did not work out. I still thought it would be a cool to have an engagement shoot—-because I think it’s nice to see couple shots before the marriage. It’s full circle kinda thing. I’m glad we had the opportunity to do that.

I’m just super happy that Tom and I made a list of wedding items that were important to us. Photography was first. I’m so it’s fantastic to see how that came true for us!

We do have a few things updated. We have one hotel released with more in the final stages. We have also updated our registry. There’s still so much left to do! We do have after-party information, and will be updating that soon, too!

Quick Note: Hotels are in the Works

My wedding planner has kept me updated on hotel reservations. Hopefully, the information should be updated soon. Everyone in America is getting married that weekend, so we are still working on hotel blocks.

We are also sorting out our registry, and that should be done before March.

According the “Everything-You’re-Supposed-To-Do” Checklist, I’m still looking pretty good. Most of the BIG details have been finalized and accounted for, just working out the little ones now!

6 Month Wedding Planning: Myth vs. Fact

People have given me generalizations and timelines of how they planned their wedding. I’ve received feedback that most people (around the college-age) have planned their wedding in the usual recommended timeline: sixteen to nineteen months. For older couples, I’ve had general figures of shorter engagements anywhere from five to nine months. That being said, Tom and I decided to have a short engagement. When I immediately began searching for a checklist I noticed that many were super conformist to the strict sixteen-nineteen month. I definitely referred to those lists because the attention to details were great, and I estimated that I could have it MOSTLY nailed down in two weeks.

Furthermore, almost immediately after my engagement, Jenna (our weddings are months apart) immediately shot me “practical wedding” blog links that have been LIFE SAVERS! I also managed to read another blog post on planning a wedding on a short timeline.

I do think it’s funny to point out that the same people who usually questioned “IF” I’d ever settle down and get married, are the same ones to ask me the following question, “Why exactly is your engagement so short?”

Here are a few myth vs. fact from personal life experience for anyone who HASN’T BEEN PLANNING SINCE BIRTH and the other people that aren’t on the 4-YEAR COLLEGE TRACK—-that wedding planning is doable under ANY timeline.

Myth: First Choice Venues are impossible.                         Fact: They are difficult, but not impossible.

Venues (of course) are a big-ticket item. A lot of people don’t even worry about it, and just get married in a church. I don’t blame ya, but if you do want somewhere different, then planning on a short time line can seem like a daunting task. I come from Liddell persistence stock, and if you are flexible on your venue type, you’ll find a place. To clarify—if you’ve ALWAYS wanted to get married at this waterfront country boathouse that 5 wedding blogs have deemed—-“wedding worthy” you may run into trouble. On the other hand, if you have an broad idea: outdoor venue, indoor venue, beach venue, etc. You’ll be able to find a great place! Your increasing chances of finding a venue perfect for a wedding all depends on your flexibility of dates and of course budget. Be open to friends venue suggestions, and you’ll either find a place that will suit your needs, or a venue may come back to contact you concerning a cancellation. My personal takeaway from this experience is that I do agree with the wedding blogs: venues are the hardest part.

Seriously, once you’ve secured a venue—-all hell could break loose, and you’ll be sitting there staring at the screen going

I’m getting married somewhere!

Myth: The devil is in the details.                       Fact: Depends on the details.

I’m surprised at how complex wedding planning has become. When I attend weddings, I remember if the food was good, if the desserts were tasty, and if I got a party favor. I remember “ooh—and ahhhing” and trying to guess what it might have cost. Yet, I still can’t quite remember EVERY. LITTLE. detail. Are all details necessary? Will you be an outcast from society if you don’t choose the right wedding cake flavor? I just can’t get over how many people rant on blogs about how there wedding did not turn out like the photo-shoot perfect lighting that Pinterest shows. Pinterest is one of my favorite digital creations because they are suppose to help you with inspiration of ideas—–not be concrete-stone replications. Maybe that’s the librarian in me? I use it for reference, and not for the exact science (unless I’m looking up a specific science experiment) or if I REALLY wanna do a DIY craft. I digress, I have fun planning small details, and MAY overlook some big details (that could concern or may be important to different people). Yet, that’s what make weddings so awesome, the unique-ness comes from whatever details are most important to the couple and how they choose to show that. That’s it.

On to my favorite Part!

Myth: Wedding dress shopping is a nightmare.          Fact: It was a new experience. Embrace it. Be Open.

AHH! I found my dress without my mom. 😦 I really did have designs to go wedding dress shopping with my mom! It’s okay because we can still go shopping together for her dress. YAY! My mom was so cute and said she felt like she was there with all the “new technology” of being able to send her pictures of different dresses (she has a smarrrttt phone). I went wedding dress shopping with two of my soon-to-be family in-laws: Tom’s sister Jenny, and his cousin Matt’s wife Katie. Going dress shopping was an awesome bonding experience. Both girls took charge on helping me narrow down what I would want to try on, what options to keep open—and what wedding dress wants that I should stand firm on.

That being said—-I found a dress. At a random bridal trunk sell. I will say, that shopping for a dress is like shopping for a kitty cat—-you will just know. The moment it was hanging on a rack, I fell in love with it and *crossed my fingers* hoping it would fit. The better bonus is that my mom and I actually like the dress. The biggest bonus is—it’s over. The most “important” moment—-was finished in one complete day, over in an hour session. WITH NO BUYER’S REMORSE.

I will say that EVERY GIRL as a rite of passage should have a David’s Bridal Shopping experience. No, I did not get my dress from there. Yet, I say it should be a rite of passage because (if you’re like me) and mainstream trends concerning wedding dresses don’t appeal to you—-it’s fun to just go and try on dresses you’d never wear.

The customer service was SUPER perplexed at my state of being. They didn’t understand the following:

1) I didn’t want any bling. Honey, Bling ain’t my thang.

  

2) They did not understand why I wanted something “simple”

It was just an amazing amount of (what I thought of as) fun moments as I just thought in amazement at how solidly we buy into whatever is advertized from the wedding industry.

The only breastplate of armour I would like to own should hopefully not be sewn into my wedding dress. I would prefer it on a design outfit of my choosing. If I could further rant, my bridal advice is to not get your hopes set on something you’ve pinned as the BE ALL-END ALL DRESS! However it looks on the model will not necessarily be the same fit on your figure. I did not pin down EXACTLY what I wanted, and had some strong options of what I DIDN’T want. It was a great middle-ground to help me pick a dress.

Now—-for the real fun—-spicin’ up the details.

Why We Didn’t Choose a Church Venue

Church weddings are beautiful. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve teared up at watching a beautiful bride strut down the aisle runway. I think there is beautiful architecture inside a church and it can easily be decorated to suit anyone’s need. I think churches are fantastic options for all budgets or couple’s beliefs. Unfortunately, I do not think they are the only traditional option.

For example, I’ve always LOVED destinations or beach weddings. I’ve never been super into weddings—I didn’t have wedding Pinterest boards until I was engaged, but that doesn’t mean I never thought about a general wedding venue concept. I talked to Tom, and he was open to whatever I wanted most. I just figured beaches are cool—that seems to fit into what a “cool” wedding would look like for us. In reality, that just didn’t fit in the time-table and the amount of guests we wanted for creating a beach wedding.

What I did figure out from the process of venue searching is the following: An outdoor wedding venue. I figured it didn’t matter as long as it was outdoor. Tom felt that it fitted us both as a couple, and in the time frame we wanted we searched extensively for a spot that would reflect our start in marriage. In the end, I do find that I keep justifying my decision. As if there’s something terrible about not having it in a church. The statements people make are as follows:

• You’re not getting married in a church? That’s very non-traditional.
• Why are you getting married on a farm? You know black people don’t get married on farms.
  

Let’s address the first statement. For anyone reading this and has seen the wedding website: Off-Beat Brides, and not raised in a strict Christian upbringing, you may seem slightly confuzzled about what some naysayers consider “non-traditional.” The background is (as I’m sure most know). I’m a PK kid. For anyone furiously googling that terminology: AKA: “preacher’s kid” or in my own case, “Pastor’s Kid.”I was born and raised in a church, and as much as the church has made me what I am today (I haven’t in the slightest forgotten that), I want to say that Jesus wouldn’t mind if I brought him with me to let’s say—-some other location.

Now, Let me briefly rant on Christian tradition. I’m going to use a lot of Luvvie’s “Jesus Take the Wheel” and a little bit of Louise:

I’m not going to be briefly mention that Jesus was born in a barn—-and not elaborate further. I’m not even going suggest that in the Old Testament the Israelites were wondering around in the wildness for 40 some odd years….I’m sure absolutely no one got married then—even if we think about the concept that we’re relegating Jesus to some “civilized structure” of 4-walls and steeple seems so unjust. To leave a statement that marriage blessings couldn’t happen outdoors surrounded by the beauty of nature that *cough*God*cough* created and have that recognized—don’t get me started. I don’t have time to get up on a soap box during this process, and I want to make sure that when someone asks me—I can just refer them to this blog post. I don’t have the time to defend my life choices for one measly day, and this is all the energy and effort I’m going to put into it.

Let’s talk about the second statement. My FAVORITEST statement to date: Girl, black people don’t get married at no  farm.

So, Let’s talk about my choice of venue.

Again, there is no need or justification. Yet, I’m always like, apparently, ya’ll need some insight into my eccentricities—-and well jot down those notes:

Let’s Look at Post Family Farms.  It did win this little award last year. Go research it, if you need further clarification.

The best way, I can help you think about what you’re getting yourself into. Is to help you visualize. I’m sure you’re probably thinking this:

Taken from: http://westfordcomp.com

When In actuality, it’s more of the following:

Taken from the following site: http://www.reneealeisaphotography.com

Wait until you see the ceremony waterfall site. I’ll just leave that to your imagination. If you haven’t gotten it, you won’t get it—and all I’m going to suggest to you, is breath and try one of these new amazing phrases of Luvvie’s Fix It Jesus.

Stylin’ Groomsmen

     Men are so Easy

With the help of a bridesmaid, it took all but two seconds to say the following:

• Grey Pants
• Grey Shirt
• Grey Vest

Why Grey Shirts? Because white shirts reminded me of waiters.

There’s even an awesome site where you can get all the matching ties to coordinate with the matching dresses and viola~! It’s done.

We’re Getting There!

This wedding is truly coming together. I nailed down the hardest part: bridesmaid dresses. If you haven’t been involved in a wedding, or will be doing future wedding planning, I’ve gotten plenty of headaches over figuring out how this may look. I am all about pleasing the majority (I won’t lie), and I didn’t want my friends to grumble behind my back over prices or fit—-they may still, BUT I WANTED TO LET THEM KNOW I TRIED. I just get neurotic about this decision because I will see these pictures for the rest of my life—-and I would hate to be featured in a forum’s horror story.

Bridesmaid dresses are one of the insanest parts of a wedding. I think the factors that concern me the most (which I’ve read arguments either way are as follows):

• Price
• Style

I think it’s easier if you are a decisive bride who has their heart set on “this dress, or this designer…” or if you have the bride mentality of IDGAF:

I just can’t do that. My closet is too full of second hand pieces to start demanding that my friends pay for a $260+ dress. It’s so crazy to think of that being the base price and doesn’t factor in the following: shipping and handling, and/or any alterations needed. I read a whole forum of arguments from brides who demanded that “It doesn’t matter—-and if that’s what you want, and someone can’t afford it—they should not have agreed. I just think it’s completely unreasonable to ask that of my own principles. That being said the hardest part is style. I feel you can always find something in whatever color you want, but figuring out a style—-is such a headache. I just kept uttering my wedding’s motto:

Simple Sophistication

That’s my theme of this wedding. If it’s going to be a whimsical one, I want people to see the simple elegance of the day. That being said, I’m all for trends.

I also, love the idea of having “pops” of color. I’m all about trends (I’m sure my future kids will laugh at how dated I appeared), but I liked the idea of mismatched colors. I also liked the idea of tulle skirts, and may have my after party dress of that material. My colors won’t be true to the featured image, but it will be an idea of what to expect. I’m just glad to have that decision finalized.

I do have other projects in the works—the biggest ones being:

• Save the date cards
• Engagement Shoot
• Catering
• Music

I have others that are also in the works, and will be revealed over time. Now on to styling the Groomsmen!

Groomsmen Update!

Whoo-hoooo! We’re getting the party started on this blog. We are firming up the wedding party—and what a big wedding party it will be!

If you must know the size of our wedding party, or why we chose a big wedding party, maybe it’s because of the following:

• We both thrive on a little chaos
• We also want to make all our friends feel special

That being said, we just want to have fun! We’re not trying to impress anyone, and just honest-to-God want people who want to share in our happiness. Even if it makes us (or me) a little neurotic because I’m not a last minute planner or worrier. I want all the big lockdowns out of the way to make make room for enjoying my impending marriage!

That being said, we hope our wedding party will enjoy having fun with us throughout this whole process.

Wedding Coordinator & More! Six Months Away!

Ahhhhh! I have a wedding coordinator! WHOOOO-HOOOO! My FAVORITE CANADIAN (who is now an American) annnnnnnd took us on this awesome Hamilton/Toronto/Ontario trip, has graciously agreed to help be my event coordinator, as well as, mistress of ceremonies. Katy is professional events manager, and has planned weddings before. She gave me the accent color of yellow as that last “popping” detail. I can’t wait to surprise my mom (her favorite color is yellow) so this just makes the wedding that special.

Background wedding details: My parents were married in a courthouse in 1972. They couldn’t afford to have a wedding, and they have communicated that regret to me growing up. My dad (is a beautifully sentimental person) stated that he would like to give me a wedding just like they never had. Ahhh! I’m going to cry. My parents are the best. Anyway, Katy brings her skills and expertise which makes me so happy! Also, Tom and I are claiming her as travel partners for life.

Just a few updated details:

• Working on securing a photographer
• In process of firming up catering details
• Working on securing musicians
• Firming up details on wedding party style and decor
• Working on a guest list

I’ve gotten a few questions about my reasoning to blog. Is it something to do? Is there a purpose?

• I like to think that blogging about my experiences helps make me less neurotic.
• I also like to process my experiences and I think years from now it will be special to share with children of my own—-this piece of wedding work:

what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? – Mary Oliver

Breathing Life into Wedding Planning

Well! This wedding is taking shape. I just love how Tom and I plan because we have this planning telepathic connection where when I finally firm up an idea (“my” wedding color scheme) to express, he’s told a friend his idea (what colors he would like)—which, we find out is the identical to each other, especially when I’ve become decisive like “there is no room for arguments here—and it is unnecessary, because it’s the same idea, which makes us laugh. Does that sound confusing? I’m sure it does.

Well! To explain, I’m pretty sure you know my engagement ring is purple. I’ve wanted purple in a wedding. Jeanessa even confirmed with me that my wedding should be purple. Yet, I know there are 95,000 shades of purple (<—- yes I do exaggerate on a high level), and my mother told me to go to a paint store to figure it out. My mom’s the best, super practical. Love it.

I did the next best thing, and called Erin. She recommended visiting Pinterest to see different wedding shades of purple. I did just that. I settled on Lavender. Yet, I needed an accent color and something that screamed summer wedding!

Between a conversation with my wedding party and my new wedding coordinator (which I’ll explain in the next post) I found my wedding colors. The difference from this featured palette is the grey will be much darker. The yellow will be featured between sunshine and lemon.

Now, on to the next details: figuring out the style of bridesmaid dresses!

Soft Launch is here!

Well, I feel a bit better knowing that I’ve gotten this theme down pat! Just a few tweaks, some edits, and I think we’ll be good to go! I want to use this as a interactive experience—-to see if we’ll have any web participants! I’m excited either way. I’m going to unveil it to my bridesmaids first, and get the scoop from them!